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Add message Report Twinklestarstwinklestars Wed May Last time she came to the hospital after a few days and the midwife had to take ds off her as he was getting cold out of the hot cot, dp had cleared off home and left me with her! My MIL has spent the last few months commenting on bump size to the point that she bought over her 2 sets of maternity notes they are over 30 years old and showed me how much she weighed at each stage!!
She has also questioned everything we have bought. I am also having the baby early due to a pre-existing medical condition and she just cant get her head around this and keeps going on about why they cant leave me to go to term.
I have also had 4 hours of her trying to name the baby and suggesting every single name we hate and then questioning my rationale for hating the names. Deep breaths were needed! I am dreading the first few weeks and having to have her to stay. I just told DH that he has to be here and to back me if she starts interfering. Add message Report mrspaddy Wed May Make him do the work for you..
The Stu Erwin Show - Season 4 Episode 16: Interfering In-Laws | TVBuzer
Yes she will be grandmother and that is a special role but she is overstepping the mark. To think she feels she has a say on names and being there at the birth grrrr Add message Report trikken Wed May I love my mil and we get on really well though. Add message Report Springforward Wed May Just tell her no. You need to be firm and put your foot down, and tell her politely that the birth is private and you would like time to bond with your child before you introduce them to the world.
Add message Report madamecake Wed May Apparently this was in case DH needed anything, such as a sandwich, which they could go and get for him. I just told them that we want to be left alone and allowed to settle in and get used to the new addition. And that we will let them know when it is ok to visit. Add message Report Bunnylion Thu May I have the same issues but my ILs are abroad. Good in some ways but also means I suffer very intense bursts of this kind of behaviour when they visit.
They monitored my fridge contents, stand over me as I cook, interrogated me on my diet, stopped me getting out the car at a petrol station because of the fumes, told me not to touch my dog because I could catch salmonella! I dread the post-birth visits. Add message Report upsydaisy33 Thu May I have my good reasons, and I do try to give my mum nice days with my dd, and try to look grateful for the endless things she turns up with that we neither want nor need And he is right, but it is so hard to deal with.
My mother never came near the birth nor the hospital cue hysterical behaviour from her at the time - and I mean ringing me up when dd was a day old and shouting at me repeatedly on the phone, accusing me of all sorts of things but now never mentions it. Good luck, and make space for your needs.
Add message Report Snowflakepie Thu May It may well be true anyway. Make it very clear to your midwife and DP who is welcome and who is not, they will support you. Agree your DP needs to deal with this now though. Like with a toddler, really! Grandparents and toddlers are very similar creatures. Things may change in time but if the relationship is damaged now, it is very hard to trust again.
Stand your ground, be rude if its called for, throw a fit and throw them out because you really can with a newborn! I have no need of help while DH is on leave. The only headache is someone to look after DD during the birth, so one set of parents will need to know.
But I have already said that they will look after her, then meet the baby and then we will see them in a few weeks. My parents were fine with this and they will be my first choice. My MIL was a bit but they will just have to deal with it. Plus we only have one bathroom.
Good luck x Add message Report izchaz Thu May He told her we were expecting our first child and her first grandchild last night, her first words were "dear oh dear oh dear All of this is complicated by the fact that she is terminal with cancer and we had hoped for her to meet her first grandchild before she dies.
Add message Report Teaandflapjacks Thu May I live in Germany now, and my parents are far away - it is unfortunate since i think my on mother is a saint and would love to have her close by and popping in all the time, as it is we speak every day on the phone or skype - but not the same. I would advise, like the others, really standing your ground, as if you give an inch it gets worse and worse. I have already made it clear that they can visit when I want - this may not be in the hospital, but once we are home, for example.
I know from bitter experience about my own wedding to DH. It is far too long to repeat here. I got upset about it after the wedding, and luckily DH saw what she had been up to, and went to see her and basically told her to back off. You just have to say no, get DH to say no, and get hospital staff also clued up on it too, just in case.
"The Stu Erwin Show" Interfering In-laws (TV Episode 1955) - Reference View - IMDb
This is what I plan to do. I decided the easiest way to handle her when she gets like this is give her a job - she is an excellent seamstress, so I got her to make up baby bedding.
I have rationed the amount of fabric I buy each time - so I can spin this out over the next month. This way she is involved, quite happy.
"The Stu Erwin Show" Interfering In-laws (TV Episode 1955) - IMDb
Maybe think of something like this for her? But you need DH to stand firm with her, and make the point too. Good luck - and breathe!!